Lady: But I am disappointed at your not finding this Gladstone. I feel quite sure, however, that it must be, the expression of face so admirably accords with what we know of his intellect and character. I was going to refer to it in my meditation today.
Both: Your meditation!
Lady: My meditation in Parliament. What was formally called a speech is now called a meditation. (looks at coin again) But I shall refer to it all the same. I shall refer to it all the same. None of the members will know the difference. It is hypercriticism.
Sam: In Parliament! what, are you in Parliament?
Uncle: Pray tell me, madam, and excuse me if the remark is personal, who are you?
Lady: Ah! I forgot that we had not been formally presented. I am the Prime Ministress of England.
Both: Prime Ministress of England!
Lady: To be sure, why shouldn’t I be? And all admit that England was never so prosperous. I have finished the decoration of St. Pauls and the Thames Embankment.
Both: Oh what next.
Lady: My cousin Amelia is President of the United States.
Both: President of the United States!
Lady: To be sure, why shouldn’t she be? And she has abolished Mormonism. (The Mummies look at each other aghast—lady experiences electric shock) Ah! Blitzen returns.
Sam: That boy coming again!
Uncle: For heaven’s sake go, madam. Go, I beseech you, and you keep that boy out. It’s manslaughter, it’s murder.
Lady: I will go. (gong sounds) There is the last gong sounding, but before I leave you allow me to give you one word of advice. Return to your mummy cases. Return to your darkness of the past century, for you are no more able to battle with the present one thatthan Sayers could battle with Hercules. Farewell. (exit)
(a long pause)
Uncle: (in great indignation) Sammy, that woman was a jug[g]ler That Blitzen was a juggler. They were both jugglers. They have been making fools of us. What! they know more than we? The nineteenth century was considered of all the centuries the most enlightened, and it was the most enlightened. What was there that we didn’t know? We have been the victims of a joke, a most uncomfortable one, but still a joke. It was all a joke.